Unhelpful Recipes: Banana Coconut Cream (Dairy-Free-Gluten-Free-No-Sugar-Added-But-Somehow-Still-Delicious) Pie

Oh yes, my friends, it’s true. Even though food allergies keep me from enjoying some of summer’s most delicious treats, I have found a way to truly have my pie, and eat it, too. This treat, which I like to serve semi-frozen, is cold and creamy and definitely satisfies a dessert craving.

And the best part? It’s a snap. It’s literally EASY AS PIE.

banana coconut cream pieIngredients

  • one sleeve of graham crackers (gluten free or style of your choosing)
  • a few spoonfuls of coconut oil
  • 2-3 bananas
  • one can of coconut milk, refrigerated for 24 hours
  • vanilla extract
  • 1-2 cups of shredded coconut

Unhelpful Instructions

Using a food processor or a hammer, crumble one sleeve of graham crackers. If they’ve become a fine dust, you’ve gone too far.

crumbleIn a mixing bowl, stir together the graham cracker crumbs and a few spoonfuls of coconut oil. Pinch it between your fingers and if it holds it’s shape, that should be enough.

coco crustPress your crumble mixture into a pie plate.

go bananasSlice up your bananas and layer them into the pie crust.

whippedCrack open your chilled (for 24 hours at least, trust me on this one) can of coconut milk and scoop out the top, solidified cream. You can reserve the water for something else. Smoothies? Watering your plants? Throwing at your mean neighbour? Whatever you need.

If you’re looking for added sweetness, here’s a good place to toss in some icing sugar. Because it’s your life and you can do what you want.

Whisk up the cream until it’s a nice, smooth whipped consistency. Stir in a splash of the vanilla for added flavour. Spread over top of pie.

toastySpread your coconut shavings on a baking sheet and toast under the broiler until brown and crispy. Then, sprinkle them generously atop your pie.

Side note: using sweetened coconut is another place to add some of the good stuff if you’re not going sugar-free.

Place the pie in the freezer to set. Maybe for a few hours or so.

slice and enjoyAbout 20 minutes before serving, remove the pie from the freezer to thaw just enough so that it’s slice-able. Cut yourself a ginormous piece and enjoy the cold, ice-creamy fruits of your labour.

A note on coconut milk:

I have tried every brand of coconut milk I can get my hands on and sometimes have noticed huge discrepancies in texture, consistency, and creaminess between brands. I discovered that nearly every brand, organic or otherwise, adds guar gum to the coconut. Personally, I’ve found that (for some reason unbeknownst to me) the coconut cream with the guar gum additive doesn’t set up as nicely. Interestingly, the brand pictured above Aroy-D, was the only non-guar gum brand that my local grocery store carries and is also the least expensive (by 50 cents to a dollar)! Weird.


Holiday Chocotini with Candy Cane GLITTER: A Gluten Free, Lactose Free, Low Sugar Cocktail

Wait! Don’t run away! Even if that doesn’t sound particularly appealing to you, I promise you that your holiday parties will have a guest or two with food allergies or a sensitive tummy who will thank you. Also, it’s really, REALLY good. I swear on Santa’s stockings.

Rather than using chemical sweeteners and overly-processed, brightly-coloured ingredients for this drink, instead allow the rich, indulgent flavours to come from more natural ingredients.

Okay, and I’m no grinch; if you want to add some delicious chemicals, I recommend the candy cane rimmer. So good!


Holiday Chocotini with Candy Cane GLITTER (Gluten Free, Lactose Free, and Low Sugar)
Ingredients (serves 5)

  • Unsweetened baker’s chocolate, 1 bar
  • Coconut milk, 2 cans
  • Whipped cream vodka, 10oz (I used Pinnacle)
  • Crushed candy canes, 1/4 cup (approximately 12 tiny candy canes)
  1. Using a food processor, pulverize candy canes to tiny, glitter-sized pieces and set aside
  2. In a saucepan, melt the baker’s chocolate, reserving 1 square for dressing the rim
  3. Once the chocolate is melted, pour in the 2 cans of coconut milk
  4. Whisk ingredients until combined and mixture is creamy
  5. Measure and pour in 10oz of vodka (2 shots per person)
  6. Simmer over lowest heat until warmed through
  7. In a separate pan, melt the remaining square of baker’s chocolate
  8. While, the chocolate is melting, spread the candy cane glitter across a small plate
  9. Gently turn the rim of your serving glasses into the melted chocolate until coated
  10. Press chocolate rim onto the candy cane glitter

Pour the warmed chocotini into the glitter-ized glasses. Serve with a fun paper straw!

It’s a rich drink and the flavoured vodka actually detracts from the bitterness of the chocolate. If you need added sweetness, stir in some of the candy cane glitter. This can also be chilled and served cold.



Breakfast Candy a.k.a. Food Allergy Distraction

I’ve mentioned before that I have a handful of food allergies. It blows. Sometimes it seems like everything delicious contains at least one ingredient that I’m allergic to. From dairy to gluten to black pepper (wtf, right?!), it can become impossible to find foods that make me forget that I’m having to “substitute” for that which I really desire.

Sometimes I’ll throw caution to the wind (read: deal with the consequences), load myself up with digestive enzymes, and just eat the foods I’m not supposed to. Luckily, as far as I’m aware, I’m not at risk of anaphylaxis. Still, it’s really not in my best interest to “cheat” in this way and I often regret doing so. Thus, when I find foods that stand alone as delicious treats without containing my allergens, I. Become. Elated.


This is what happened to me last week.

I was perusing the aisles for a gluten free breakfast cereal when I saw a special display that transported me back to my childhood. I was all-of-a-sudden standing in a Tops Friendly Market in New York, staring up at the pyramid of Fred Flintstone faces and begging my mother to break her no-more-than-6-grams-of-sugar-per-serving cereal rule. And she did.

fruity pebbles

I’m not even going to lie. I bought three boxes. Who cares? At $1.99 a box it’s actually one third of what I usually pay for a box of gluten-free cereal. And yeah, I know it’s mostly sugar and artificial colour. But you know what? When I fill a bowl with this stuff and top it with So Delicious Coconut milk, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. Not even at all.

breakfast candy

Bottoms up, food allergy sufferers! You won’t regret it.